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I Am Not Forgiving or Reconciling with Someone Who Hurt Me!

Updated: Jan 3, 2023

Please Lord, stop asking me to do what I can't do!

(Hebrews 12:15 NLT) '15 Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.'


Book Excerpt Wounded Soul: How could I forgive the wrong done toward me? How could I forgive the anguish of feeling betrayed? How could I forgive the pain it caused me? How could I forgive what should not have taken place? How could I forgive the injustice without the price having been repaid because it almost cost me everything? How could I forgive those who were supposed to love me and hated me? I couldn’t forgive because it cost me too much—all the nights I tried to rest in fear, all the days I tried to avoid coming home, never knowing if today was the day I was going to die. All I could think about was how angry I was and that the price still needed to be paid to me. Everything that took place was still affecting me, but I knew I needed to move past my pain because it was killing me. I decided to bury it because I did not know how to let go of it.

Scripture Thoughts:

When something goes wrong in a relationship, and you believe the other person caused the issues, it is easy to become angry and even bitter toward that person. In Hebrew culture, any plant that was considered poisonous was referred to as bitter. Poison has the ability to destroy anyone that takes it in. This is why we have to be so careful of holding on to pain and anger in any part of our lives. There is a reason that the Lord tells us in (Ephesians 4:26-27 ESV) '26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil.' When you allow anger to stay inside of you, it starts to produce bitterness that you might not be aware of. Scripture tells us bitterness is a poisonous root that has the ability to corrupt you as well as others. This is important to be aware of because if your heart becomes bitter, it's not just bitter toward the person that hurt you. It is bitter toward everyone now because it has now become part of you. Once you allow yourself to become bitter, you have given the devil the opportunity to come in and work in you and through you.

This is why we are to do our best to let our anger and hurt go. We have all the tools we need in the Word of God to do this, but I must admit this can be a difficult task in our lives, depending on the pain and hurt that has taken place. To solve some of the problems in our lives regarding the hard things, we have to draw near God in prayer and act in obedience to His Word. Prayer will keep us in constant communication with our Lord, helping us to stay strong in our time of need. While choosing to act in obedience to His Word will supersede our feelings and the way we want to act. When we choose to do this daily, we allow God to work within us and His Word to rule us, and that is when we truly show that we are His children. How easy it is to obey God when nothing is wrong, and everything is working right in our lives. But how difficult it is to be obedient when you are in a place of suffering, and you can choose to handle things your own way. This requires us to put our complete trust in God (Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT) '5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.' When we seek to do His will instead of our own is when we see the greatest change in our lives.


My Thoughts

Each and every person has the ability to forgive and let go, but this is a choice we have to make on a daily basis, not just one time. We have to make it on a daily basis because hurt and pain don't necessarily leave us at the moment we choose to forgive and let go. We have to actively address it on a daily basis because we have to allow God's Word to win within us and over our pain hurt on a daily basis. I personally know this because this is what I had to do when my brother was killed. I had so much anger, hurt, bitterness, and animosity inside me regarding this that it was changing me for the worse. But God's grace and choosing His Word (Matthew 6:15) over my feelings and emotions helped me to live in forgiveness and move forward in my own life.

The Lord would have us reconcile with those who have wronged us, and He wants reconciliation to be part of the life we live. Relationships will come under trial and fire sometimes, but when we push down the pride that resides in us and allow God's Word to be first and foremost in our lives, we can absolutely achieve reconciliation with the Lord and with our brethren if they also chose to reconcile with us. (Matthew 5:23-24 ESV) '23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.' Nothing is impossible for us to achieve with the Lord. We just have to be willing to choose Him and His Word before we choose ourselves and our word. Amen.


Challenge yourself to pray and read God's Word on a daily basis. As you understand more, start acting out on what it says. Then you will truly see the blessing of the Word of God in your life.


Ask your Heavenly Father to help you to understand His Word and give you the wisdom and understanding needed to act upon it.


Leave a comment, thought, or opinion in the comments section. We would like to hear from you! Please like and share with friends, family, and people you believe will benefit from this devotion.

Take Care Family,

Pastor Charles

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Check Out The Book "Wounded Soul: Death Lived Inside Me" by Pastor Charles Myles

©Copyright Charles R. Myles II 2022

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1 Comment

Good message on not holding onto to bitterness. As men that’s a difficult thing to let go of when we feel we’ve been wronged. Proverbs 3:5-6 is something I’ll start reciting daily to help get my mind in the right perspective.

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